Discretion at Job Interviews: How Transparent Should You Be? (Full Disclosure: It’s Complicated!)

When preparing for job interviews, do you feel confused by the range of advice experts offer? We’re constantly hearing about the importance of transparency and being real. Employers stress their desire to hire honest, open, genuine people.

Yet experts drone on about using caution when disclosing personal information. They recommend focusing on your career and education and nothing else and the need to be the best version of yourself during the job search and interview process.

So which matters most during job interviews — discretion or disclosure?

Extreme Discretion During Job Interviews

Let’s consider the extremes. As a consultant, I have heard countless stories (good and bad) of job interviews, both from employers and candidates. It’s always possible to take discretion too far and come across as closed off, pretentious, or shady.

A hiring manager once told me that the candidate she had just interviewed met or exceeded all qualifications. She dressed professionally and communicated clearly and effectively. But the hiring manager sensed something was missing.

“I can’t put my finger on it,” she shared, “but all her answers were textbook. It was like interviewing a robot. I got zero sense of personality or enthusiasm. But since she meets all the qualifications, I’m still considering hiring her. Yet I can’t imagine her working in our office or visiting with clients. She’s just so flat.”

I knew this candidate very well. She was known by all for her sense of humor, charismatic personality, and compassion for others. Why didn’t that come across in the job interview?

She’d been too cautious about disclosing personal information. She had read the rule book for job interviews. In an effort to perform well, she heeded the advice about keeping it professional to an extreme. It almost cost her the job offer. Luckily, the employer took a chance and hired her. It worked out beautifully for both the employer and the candidate.

Extreme Disclosure During Job Interviews

On the other hand, it’s possible to err on the side of total transparency — to be your whole self with no holds barred and to overshare personal information during job interviews.

A recruiter once told me a story about an uncomfortable job interview with a candidate who arrived in a black leather mini skirt, bright blouse, and leather jacket. She casually leaned on the table during half the interview. Her laughter nearly shook the panes of the conference room windows. She asked personal questions of the interviewers. Also, when she was asked the infamous “tell me about yourself” question, she did — she shared everything about herself in 120 seconds.

After the job interview, the recruiter felt so overwhelmed that she immediately removed the candidate from consideration for hire without further review.

“I had really seen enough. Or way too much. This candidate was qualified on paper, but she had no sense of boundaries. I never need to know so much personal detail about a candidate’s life. She really shot herself in the foot,” the recruiter lamented.

Now that we’ve demonstrated the need to aim for the means between extremes, let’s learn how to do it by focusing on three different things: competent communication, the unique interview context, and the necessity to focus on solutions — not problems.

Defining Balance: Competent Communication, the Unique Interview  Context

The best way to ensure a balanced approach between total transparency and shielded discretion during job interviews is to understand and practice competent communication. What is competent communication?

Competent communication refers to the knowledge of effective and appropriate communication patterns and the ability to use and adapt that knowledge in various contexts. There are two keywords in that definition to focus on: effective and appropriate. 

It’s possible to be highly effective — communicating what you want and getting it — without being appropriate. We can get what we want and accomplish our goals, but if we go about it in a malicious manner or offend people along the way, we’ve failed to communicate competently. Regardless of effectiveness, if we lack appropriate delivery and ethical goals regarding communication, we’re terribly flawed communicators.

Apply this to the context of job interviews. You might say what you mean and mean what you say, but are you saying it mean? If you come across as whiny, negative, or crass, you earn no points for transparency. You lost those points because you failed to focus on appropriate diction, proper interpersonal boundaries, and professional demeanor. You will have effectively communicated your message, but if you do it inappropriately, you haven’t reached competency. You won’t be hired.

Being appropriate doesn’t have to mean being fake or boring. It’s simply a choice to portray yourself in a positive, professional light through the way you communicate.

Stick to the Context: Job Interviews

One way to ensure competent communication is to stick to the context. If you attend a conference, you will likely ensure to appear clean and neatly groomed. You will probably behave more conservatively than if you were attending a birthday party or karaoke night at a local bar. The context should determine which words you choose, how you share them, your mannerisms, and your choices regarding behavior.

What’s appropriate in one setting may be terribly inappropriate in another.

Keep this in mind when you prepare for job interviews. While sharing war stories about your worst clients with a trusted friend or colleague may be fine, you don’t want to do this during an interview. You can open up about how you struggle to achieve work-life balance because of your newborn baby with a family member or mentor, but this isn’t information you want to share during a job interview.

Avoid oversharing. Keep in mind the interview isn’t an opportunity to make new friends or build a great social bond. The employer is seeking to hire someone because there are real needs in the organization which are not being met. Focus on discussions around THAT — filling the void for the employer.

Focus On Solutions, Not Problems

How do you focus your discussions around filling needs for the employer? You want to spend time offering solutions, not pinpointing problems. This applies to questions you ask of the employer, sharing about your previous work experience, and discussing your performance in the potential role.

When you review the job posting before the interview, highlight terms and phrases related to the kind of candidate the employer seeks to hire. If certain soft skills are mentioned, take time to reflect on specific times when you have demonstrated those soft skills in the workplace. Use those examples when responding to behavior-based and situational interview questions.

Research the organization online and by talking to current or former employees if possible. What does the organization do well, and how can you make things even better? Where do you see opportunities for growth and improvement? Look for the holes and talk about how you can fill them.

Conclusion

Now that you know which areas to focus on to strike that delicate balance between disclosure and discretion during job interviews, you should do a few other things before your interview.

First, check your digital footprint and online brand. Google yourself and review your social profiles. Try to be objective and view your online presence through the lens of competent communication. Have you shared anything inappropriate or commented on or liked inappropriate content? Have you ranted about a bad boss? Have you written scathing reviews on Glassdoor?

Take steps to remove negative content or to ask others to remove the content as needed.

Additionally, be sure to practice. When preparing for job interviews, practice responding to common interview questions calmly, concisely, accurately, and professionally. If a colleague or mentor is willing to conduct a mock interview with you, do it! The more objective, professional feedback you can obtain, the less likely you will cross the line into too much disclosure.

Stay focused on presenting yourself in the best light possible as you forge ahead on the path to greater career fulfillment.